Extract from the speech given by Emily Scott, on June 1, 2017 during our fundraiser "Heart of the Party".
“ [...] Thank you all for being here today. I wanted to take a few minutes to explain why we are all here. Sophy stood on a bridge, looking down. Hopelessness and desperation had brought her here. She wore loose clothes to disguise the reason she was there. When she first found out she was pregnant, she couldn’t believe it was true. She knew she had to tell her boyfriend. When he found out he was in as much shock as she was. They sat in silence. They made plans to see each other the next day but he didn’t show up. She waited. Then she called. The phone rang and rang. No answer. She called every day. By next week a message came across the wires that the phone number was no longer valid. He had left her. She was unmarried, would soon loose her job, and didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t stand the thought of telling her parents — they would be so ashamed of her. The neighbors would gossip. Her father had a heart condition, she didn’t think he would survive the loss of face and disgrace. For a month the question, “What will I do?” went round and round in her head. Until it brought her to the bridge. It had all become too much to bare. 1 in 5 women from vulnerable backgrounds in Cambodia will find themselves in a similar situation as Sophy - with a crisis pregnancy. That’s tens of thousands of women each year. Let that number sink in. Maybe you know someone like this. Our dream is that they won't need to go through this crisis alone. That Sophy would not have needed to contemplate suicide. That there would be a place women like Sophy could go and be met with compassion and understanding amidst her crisis. That medical and social services would be available to her as a single mom should she choose to parent. 7 years ago I found myself sitting in a tuktuk outside a factory 17 year old woman sitting opposite me. She was 8 months pregnant. It was the summer after my sophomore year and I was interning with MHO. I grew up in Cambodia so I am used to hearing stories of sadness and injustice, but I found myself stunned by this girl’s story. This girl had been raped and was pregnant as a result. The perpetrator was on the run and it wasn’t likely she would receive justice. She was also working 8 hour-days standing on her feet in a factory trying to make a living. She hadn’t been to any pregnancy check ups. She was only a few years younger than myself, but our lives were so different and I couldn’t comprehend what she was facing. I remember being so in awe of MHO social workers. Listening attentively to her words and being with her in that moment when no one else would. Most importantly, they were bringing hope, hope that she didn’t need to go through this alone. Hope that if she chose to parent or relinquish the child that MHO would be there to support her along the way, financing her medical care, paying for housing and food while she took maternity leave, parenting classes and helping her get back on her feet after the delivery. Because of her new hope and the help MHO could offer, she had a safe delivery, became a mom at 17, and is successfully and lovingly providing for herself and her baby. Our job is not easy. When we see girls as young as 12 come through our doors, when year after year 30% of the women we help are pregnant because of rape. Our hearts break. But Sophy, standing on that bridge, she needed help. She needed somewhere safe to go. By some miracle a moto dop brought her to MHO. I still don’t know how the driver knew about us. She had her baby and slowly we helped her rebuild relationship with her parents. Finally, they invited her back home. Their love for her was stronger than fear of shame. Thank you for attending tonight and making it possible for us to help women like Sophy. Thank you for giving her hope. Thank you to Alchemy for the venue and to our sponsors ABA, ENSEAS, and Kamask. Thank you to all our raffle sponsors. You have made it possible for us to continue our work, and to be closer to our goal of making Cambodia a place for single mothers. Have a lovely evening”
We can now officially announce that we raised US$9,683, thanks to your support and your dedication in making our vision come true: No woman faces a crisis pregnancy alone.
THE TUK-TUK TAKES US TURN AFTER TURN, each street narrower than the one before, until we arrive in a small alley. We go up two flights of steel stairs and enter a shared living space. Printed photos and pictures are taped to the walls. We’re with a social worker who leads us into the corner room where a young mother sits, rocking her 8-month-old child. The baby is peacefully sleeping in a hammock that hangs from the window to the other end of the tiny room. We sit there for a few minutes —me, another Ratanak staff member, the social worker, and mom—cooing and smiling over the baby.
Reaksmy* grew up in rural Cambodia, and at a young age had to stop going to school so she could help support her family. She worked as a house cleaner until her mother forced her into a marriage, perhaps because she thought it would give them another chance to escape their life of poverty. But she was beaten and suffered violent abuse, lonely in a loveless relationship.
Reaksmy ran away and returned to her family, but knew she had to find a job to survive.
She decided to move to Phnom Penh to find work, like so many other Cambodians her age. Desperate, alone, and without an education, many end up working where they are vulnerable to exploitation: garment factories, beer gardens and karaoke TV bars. Away from their families and communities, a staggering 20% of these young women are estimated to have unplanned pregnancies.
Months later, Reaksmy was alone and pregnant. Her boyfriend had left her at the same time her father passed away. “I spent days in this room, crying and unable to sleep,” she told us. She felt so alone.
That was when she heard about Mother’s Heart. “They took care of me, taught me, and gave me hope,” she said.
At the Crisis Pregnancy Center, social workers counsel women, helping them come to a place of healing where they can be good parents to their babies. They also work on family reconciliation so that single mothers and their babies can have healthy support from their extended family and community.
There is so much shame and stigma associated with being pregnant and single in Cambodia, adding to the isolation and vulnerability of a young, frightened mother. Social workers nurture family relationships to ensure continued support for the mom and child, long after they leave the program.
The Crisis Pregnancy Centre also offers monthly classes on bonding and attachment, anger management, healthy relationships, infant care and parenting—education to strengthen the mother’s ability to take care of herself and her child. They are there every step of the way.
Mother’s Day isn’t a positive experience for everyone. To the young women who are still vulnerable, still feeling shamed and alone, being a new mother means more heartbreak than it does new joy. They come feeling like their life is over—heads bowed, they can’t speak or look at staff because of the overwhelming feeling of shame and fear.
But as the days and weeks go by, they come to experience something different and unexpected—hope, worth, belonging. And slowly, they lift their heads.
Mother's Heart has been looking after the emotional and physical needs of young single mothers since 2010.
We have been instrumental in providing opportunities for women to thrive and the success that we have achieved can be judged from every smile that we are greeted with from these women and their babies each day.
As we all celebrate Christmas today, expectations in these young hearts are rising. For most of the women and children under our care, Christmas has never meant much, since they have not had a family to celebrate with or a toy to look forward to.
Last week, we held our annual Christmas party with all of our women and their babies. It's 35 women and 20 children that came to our office. We celebrated their courage and tenacity. Everyday, we are impressed with their strength.
We were be able to see Botum* again. She lives with her mother and grandmother, and is the proud mother of a baby girl. Botum is very gentle and kind, and suffers from mental delays. The three women have not had any education, and they survive by doing simple jobs, like washing dishes or coining. When Botum* was raped, she was very distraught, and a partner organization refered her to us. With our support, she decided to parent her child. She comes in regularly for parenting classes, and last month, we told her about our Christmas party. Her eyes lit up, and a large grin appeared on her face. She could not be more excited. "Will there be cake? Please, don't forget to invite me! Are you sure you have my number?".
Our staff strives all year to provide our women and children with support in terms of entertainment in order to boost their morale and develop them mentally. However, this year, we have been gifted with amazing sponsors and donations from you, and many other supporters.
We are thankful for all the help you have provided and we want you to know that your support matters. It helps make the lives of young women better, giving them the emotional support they lack. They can rely on our team of dedicated social workers, our midwife and everyone within our organisation, as we all aim towards making our Vision a reality: "No woman faces a Crisis Pregnancy alone". Again, thank you for making our vision come true.
Happy Holidays to you and your loved ones.
With gratitude,
Mother's Heart Team
